A Balancing Act

Deuteronomy 31:6-8

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them,for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you

For the past 4 months, I have been dealing with a vertigo/dizziness problem that really has me down. On top of that, this week while gardening, I ran into some poison oak. So, I am dizzy and itching. Ugh!

In the grand scheme of things, these illnesses will pass. I know that. But I am just taking a moment to feel sorry for myself. I just feel like being miserable. I want to get better and it’s taking too long. Why is it taking so long?

I have also been laying on the self-guilt because I have had trouble with my diet lately and have put on a little weight. But because I have been dizzy, I am not exercising like I should right? Wrong – nice try at justifying my poor choices.

Where is God in all of this? Doesn’t He see that I am struggling? Of course, He does. It is me that does not see Him because I can’t see past my own self-wallowing.

I am still struggling a little and I don’t see God in all of this mess. I don’t feel like such a good Christian these days. I am supposed to just know that God is with me and have faith. But I also know that God used people with little faith to complete His plans. Just ask Noah, Moses, and St Paul.

So, in my dizziness I will try to lean on the Lord. In my discomfort, I will try to wait on the One who provides all remedies. I will try to not be so hard on myself because I know God loves me just the way I am flawed and all.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s