Sick of Being Sick

Romans 12:12

Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer.

 

As I celebrated my birthday last week,  I was taking a look at the last 5 years and thought about all the different health issues I have had. In that time period, I have dealt with a thyroid issue, diagnosis of prediabetes (which my doctor said is really type 2 diabetes just waiting to happen), a kidney stone, and a recent diagnosis of IBS.

The prediabetes diagnosis really knocked me for a loop and I was quite upset by it. I swore off all sugars and did really well for a while losing 50 pounds. With my medication, I stay within my numbers so I find myself at times cheating a little with the sweets.

The thyroid condition is managed with medication and the kidney stone was hopefully just a one-time thing. I have added lots of water to my daily routine!

The condition that has me discouraged is the IBS. It was pretty bad for a while and the doctor has me on a special diet currently to see if it can be controlled by adding fiber and watching the intake.

What has me down is I am doing what I am supposed to and nothing has changed so far. It’s only been 3 weeks but I guess I am getting tired of my body breaking down. I know that if I just put in my body the correct foods, I will be healthier.  This is something that I have total control over and at times, choose not to do so.

Why am I self-sabotaging my health?

I think we all do this. We just want to have our guilty pleasures and for a brief moment in time, enjoy our life without the boundaries of health issues. I know that I have been very discouraged lately and also that it’s not a good feeling.

I  need to read the Scripture passage every day to drive home the fact that if I endure in my afflictions, God will bring me through the situation. I also know that with all my current whining and feeling sorry for myself , there are so many others that have it 1000 times worse than I do.  I am actually extremely blessed to have that free will to make the proper choices and make my health better. I am also blessed to have health insurance and the monetary resources to visit doctors and specialists and purchase the specific foods that will hopefully improve my issues.

This does not mean that I won’t continue to struggle with my current situation but I need to give it all to God and let Him help me carry the load. These things happen for a reason and I need to be open to whatever God is leading me to through this time.

Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer.

I hope that I can endure and persevere every day and know that if I don’t give in to it, God will give me the way to deal with it. There are many examples in Scripture of God using infirmities and illness in others to perform miracles and teach others how to live.

I hope that I can use this time not to get depressed but to reach out to God for His intercession and to offer my suffering for others who are more seriously ill than I will ever be.  In His timing, God will accomplish whatever His plan is for me; I just need to trust in Him.

So, God, I am not asking for more illness, but if that does happen, let me accept Your will for my life and make the best of it.  After all, Christ did not call the healthy but the ill to be healed by His grace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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