An open letter to God..
This is the hardest letter I have ever written.
First of all, I am sorry for my recent lack of faith in You. No matter what I am going through, with You all things are possible. In my stubbornness, I forgot that and for that I am truly sorry.
Second, forgive me for my foolishness in renouncing You and totally ignoring You. I tried my hardest to have nothing to do with You and failed miserably at it. Forgive my anger, stubbornness and total disregard for You. How could I possibly think that I could handle my life without the One who gave it to me in the first place?
Thirdly, thank you for the people you put in my path every day but mainly the last 2 weeks as I have struggled with my dryness of prayer life and faith. My friends at Rowan, my family and in a special way, my parish priest Fr. Mohan for all their compassion, kindness, understanding and support for me. I don’t know what I have done to deserve such love.
And lastly, thank you for not giving up on me when I gave up on myself. You have always loved me unconditionally when I have rejected you. You embraced me as I pushed you away. You smiled at me as I cried. As I wallowed in my depression, you lifted me up and took on my pain.
Father, I am so blessed to be your daughter. I will try to make you proud of me. I can’t promise that I won’t fail again, lose faith or make stupid decisions. In fact, I guarantee that I will do all these things because I am human. But you are divine.
Help me Father in dealing with my current difficulties. The burden is the heaviest I have ever experienced but if I let you help me, it will become lighter. Let me not be prideful but willingly accept your help.
Thank you Father for your love, compassion, guidance and for always being there for me. Bless me and give me the graces I will need to accept your will throughout my life. And thank you for always forgiving me no matter how many times I fail you.
I don’t know why you put up with me but I am glad you do!