Help My Unbelief

If you pass through raging waters in the sea, you shall not drown.
If you walk amid the burning flames, you shall not be harmed.
If you stand before the pow’r of hell and death is at your side, know that
I am with you

Be not afraid.
I go before you always.
Come follow me, and
I will give you rest.

Lately, I have indeed been going through raging waters and burning flames. I just don’t understand why this is all happening at the same time. Why is God allowing it all to occur? Why is this all dragging on for so long? Why?

As the song lyrics state, God is with me always. But, why don’t I believe it?

Well, I think deep inside, not only do I believe it, but I know it for sure. God is with me even if I don’t understand. So, what steps do I need to take to keep going?

My first step needs to be a better devotion to my prayer life, which lately has been non-existent. Yes, I still read every day, but am I really absorbing it all?  Am I going through the motions or is God really telling me something?

My second step needs to be giving thanks to God for the people He has put in my path lately, especially my friends Deacon Al and Fr Mohan and my friend Linda.  They have all been wonderful with me and so patient.  I need to stop complaining and start being grateful.

I wish I could finally figure out what God wants me to do with my life, but I still don’t know. I read books on the subject from noted authors  but still nothing.  I am just so confused.

Why does God put up with me? Why can’t I get my act together? Why?

All my questions have answers that only God can provide. I just need to hang in there for a while longer and try to listen for His voice. I just don’t know what that is going to sound like.  Maybe it is in the voice of my friends, the sound of a wonderful hymn or the silence of my heart. I just don’t know.

Help my unbelief, Lord.  Be receptive to my plea. Help me to be not afraid.

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