Cross My Heart

Mark 8:34

Jesus summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them,“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,take up his cross, and follow me.For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the Gospel will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?What could one give in exchange for his life? Whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this faithless and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”

I had a conversation with my friend Deacon Al yesterday about this very passage. I feel like I am not doing such a great job of carrying my cross lately. In fact, I am not carrying it at all. I am struggling. I am struggling with the feeling that I am not a very good Catholic or Christian.  My life lately has been filled with stress from work and family and I am feeling burdened. 

Where is God in all of this?



Although I don’t feel His presence, I know that He is there. As I type these words, I feel like a hypocrite. I say all the right things but do I really believe what I am saying?

Like most people, I am in a period of dryness and doubt. I hear it happens to all people and it’s unsettling. So, what should I do?

I need to keep carrying on in reading my Bible, praying and giving my life to God. I need to ask Him for his mercy upon my doubtful heart and mind. Even though I feel like I am going through the motions, I know He is listening. Hopefully soon, I will hear His voice and know that everything will work out in His timing and for His plan.

God, I am a sinner. I doubt Your plan for my life. Forgive me and give me peace and grace to handle anything that comes my way. Keep the evil one away from my weak being and strengthen me through the Eucharist.  Let me allow Jesus to help me carry my crosses in life knowing that all things are possible with Him




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